Monday, May 16, 2005

Tone

It didn’t take Hammer very long after he began leaving comments on my site to start challenging some of the points I was making. The comments he posted stood out from all of the other comments on my site. Quite frankly, his comments were blunt; just the way I like it; music to my ears. I knew exactly what he thought and I usually knew exactly what I needed to write in order clarify my position. If I could redesign the blogsphere to be perfect [for me], everyone would write like me and everyone would leave comments like Hammer.

My wife has spent a good part of the last twelve years rounding off a few of my sharp edges. Sometimes she gets discouraged by my unrepentant attitude and some of my casual remarks, but I am not the same person I was when we started dating. I don’t tease other people the way I use to, I try to focus on areas of agreement, not disagreement when conversing casually, and I’m never out looking for a fight anymore.

Jennifer has helped remind me that the lessons from my wife are just as applicable to the blogsphere as they are to my everyday life. I think Hammer and I could learn an important lesson from the way Debra responded to my comments at her site and the way Jennifer responded to Hammer’s comments. In my mind, I had a good challenge for Debra, but I doubt she ever heard the challenge because she couldn’t get past the “tone” of my comment. I’m sorry Debra. I don’t really want everyone to be like Hammer and me, I just know life would be easier for us if everyone was.

2 comments:

Hammertime said...

Thanks, David. It's true, there are some whom I cannot reach because I am blunt and direct. I think we get that way from our military time - consistently being involved in decsions that affect people's lives tends to make us forget that those without such responsibility are more sensitive.

That's not a bad thing (sensitivity or bluntness), it is just different.

St. Paul wrote that we are to be everything to everyone - and I fail when it comes to being sensitive in writing.

Would you believe I don't have this trouble face-to-face? It is truly the work of God, because earlier in my walk I was as blunt in speech as I am in writing.

Praise God for what He's done, and that He loves us in spite of ourselves. Thanks for the category change...though I'm sad to see the old one go, too.

Teresa said...

You are right Hammer about the military thing. My husband, Marine and Cop has the same thing and we clash on it sometimes. We also can clash on us both being blunt. I also think that it is a male vs female thing on most occasions. The Lord has made us differently and that is OK; we balance one-another. I think we all learned a lot through "the situation". I will bring up one thought: maybe if e-mails were available, some things could be commented in private, like we would do in non-bloggisphere.