Friday, May 06, 2005

Emily Post (Get It?)

I’ve never had anyone leave a comment on my site that I thought was offensive. I’ve also never had a reader I didn’t want to come back as a regular reader. Until yesterday, I’ve also never had one of my comments deleted from another site. I guess leaving a comment is a little like an unsolicited phone call.

Blogger’s should have the right to “hang up”. However, unless a comment is offensive, it seems a little weird to me to delete a comment just because it presented an alternative view from the blogger.

However, I’m sure there are times when some blogger’s would want a reader to quit posting comments. Has anyone else had such an experience; either as the blogger or as the one leaving a comment?

What should be the best etiquette for “hanging up” on a commenter or asking a commenter to quit leaving comments on your site?


Buz said...

We have always told our sons, even from the time they were little, that they had the right to disagree with us, BUT they had to do it respectfully. And, in the end, even if they disagreed with us, they still had to obey. I guess I would take that same tact with a poster. If he could not be respectful of me or the others on the site, then I would ask him to stop posting until he could learn to express himself with proper etiquette (remember all the discussion that generated on the old TB site!)

Also, if I disagreed with a blogger and they couldn't handle it to the point where they excoriated me or deleted my posts, I would not waste my precious wisdom on one so bent to be foolish. (Isn't that one of the Proverbs ... a line about not arguing with fools ... another that comes to mind is something about whipping a fool to drive out his folly.)


Hammertime said...

Buz is right, extinction would be the best policy.

Simply deleting every comment they make would dissuade it. I know just having it done to me once made me not want to come back. Apparently, if you click the "delete forever" box, the comment does not leave a footprint that says "deleted by site administrator" or whatever it is when I delete my own comments! It just goes away.

pete porter said...

I've had different opinions expressed, and that is good. How can we form a valid belief without weighing the alteratives? I have not deleted, and I'm sure there may be reasons too. Even in government discussion is manditory before action can be taken.
Be Blessed,

Jennifer said...

I agree 100% with Buz. Anyone has the right to disagree with me, but if I feel their tone is disrespectful I will tell them so. Disrespectful could mean condescending, uppity, holier than thou, or down right RUDE. If that person continues along the same tone, I will just delete the comments.

Buz said...


I don't mind if someone wants to get a little uppity or condescending with me ... I usually allow them to skewer themselves with their own attitude. It is only when their vocabulary degenerates to their native language of four letter words that I take exception ... genterally not for myself but for the fact that few others wish to walk through their litterary meadow muffins.

I enjoy a good battle of words, but once someone's language is down to the small arms fire, it generally tells me that their arsenal of ideas is depleated and they are on the brink of hand to hand combat.


Jennifer said...

Right you are, Buz. Next time I'll let him keep digging his own hole.

Teresa said...

I pray about my responses, generally. I have handled them in different ways. I got a very obnoxious comment from a non-believer that I diffused by responding very respectfully. I deleted one from a beleiver who was obnoxious and that diffused that. When a discussion goes from a discussion to an arguement, it needs to stop and I just stop responding all together or I don't visit that persons blog for awhile. It really chaps me sometimes, but I pray and let the Lord deal with it. If someone deleted my comment, I would pray about it and back off. Did I sound disrespectful...? Like Buz said, do not argue with fools. Remember though, I deleted a comment by accident one time and could not get it back--I felt SO bad!

Kevin said...

Hi David!

I think Buz is right also. I've had the occasional rude, insulting comment on my blog but the person didn't come back. I've had people disagree with me but that's fine. If someone wants to express contempt or hatred for you, it's time for them to get their own blog; they have no right to remain at yours.

Banning abusive commenters does not violate their personhood because they are free to take their views elsewhere, and treats them with no less indignity than they conduct themselves with. If you regard your blog as something that benefits others, then the impact of trolling on your readers needs to be weighed also.

Or to put it in (paraphrased) biblical language, don't give your pearls or bandwidth to swine :D

Hammertime said...

If you don't want dissenting opinions, you should say so.
Disrespectful tone, Jennifer? That's sounds too much like "They disagree withme as fiercely as I disagree with them."

We are all guilty of 'condescending, uppity, holier than thou, or down right RUDE' at times.

Here is an example, in my opinion. It is not joking, it is sarcastic baiting.