Our own conflicting values

Each of us is driven by what we consider valuable. Most of our values aren’t really good values or bad values; they are just OUR values. Some of us want to appear successful, while others want to be successful. Some of us want to appear wealthy, while others want to be wealthy. Some of us want lots of friends, while others want fewer friends. Some of us prefer work to leisure, only taking time off to rest. Others prefer leisure to work, only working to pay for more leisure.

Conflicting values often prevent us from extreme behavior. The desire to look successful is tempered by the desire to be responsible in most people who want to look successful. The desire to acquire wealth is tempered by the desire to provide for a family, or to spend earnings on other things, in most people who want to acquire wealth. The desire for leisure is tempered by the need to work in most people who desire leisure. The list of conflicting values that protect us from extremes is almost endless.

There are some people who are so focused on one value that they become a sociopath. Some people who focus only on acquiring wealth end up cheating and stealing and taking advantage of others in order to acquire the most wealth. Some people who focus only on leisure end up cheating and stealing and taking advantage of others in order to avoid work. Some people who focus only on work end up neglecting their family. It’s clear that conflicting values protect us from ourselves and also protect others from us.

Can any one person have too many good values? More next week…